4th of July

Here in the valley the sound is deafening. surrounded by rogue fireworkers lighting incredible light shows that we catch a glimpse of here and there - some to our north, some directly above from some guys in the church parking lot next door, most to our west for the shows on Flathead Lake.


We spent the day a lot like we did in Clatskanie... we walked downtown, watched a small town parade (the highlight of said parade being a young boy wearing a superman outfit, strapped to the roof of a car at an angle, and in all seriousness holding out his arms as if flight. Second place, a man dressed as Marilyn Monroe), we hung out in the village for a while looking for some lunch (sat in the Wild Mile Deli for a while waiting for service which we never got), and then we came back home to get some relief from the heat. Took off later for a bbq with Art and Joy and Barbara, later standing on the porch with coffee we watched a HUGE thunderstorm on the horizon. We lit some sparklers for the girls, we drove home looking for fireworks to watch.... and now here i sit. Listening to the BOOMS echoing off the mountains and missing my old home town.


We try to make it seem as if we belong here and yet we really didn't know what to do with ourselves. We learned where NOT to stand for the parade, we learned where NOT to eat after the parade, we learned where firework displays might be showing but that the really good one starts at 11:00 which doesn't work for little girls who are dead tired and are asking to go to bed.


We used to know what to do. We'd make food at home, open our doors and welcome in any and every one, set up a chair or two in front of our house and watch the parade - bags filled with candy - clowns from Astoria, horses, firetrucks, logging trucks, and usually some old cars. We'd walk to the park, Joe would sing the national anthem, throw an axe or two, we'd go get lutheran pie and talk to everyone, walk back up to our house where people are sitting around on the lawn, on the porch, in our house, eating food, visiting, talking, and being together in a community of trust and familiarity. Later that night we'd carry a few chairs across the street, set up on the corner, and look a bit northwest for the one and only show in town - over the river. knowing that everyone else in town is looking at the same firework display and ooohhhing and aaaahhing in synchronicity


This is what i miss... i miss knowing what is expected. i miss the park full of old cars, the familiar faces that are slowing turning red in the heat. i miss people just showing up with a watermelon or a salad or chips and adding to the already full table full of party food. i miss just being myself, and being a hostess of sorts to the myriad of people that we came to know as our friends.


i realize that some 4th of July in the future we'll realize that we are at home, and we'll know what to do, and we will have some sort of tradition that we've been doing forever and all will be fine. I may still be sitting here in this same chair, listening to the booms... but i'll be ooohhhing and aahhhing with lots of other bigforkers, looking at different fireworks, in all sorts of directions, and i'll find that community of trust and familiarity.

i'm looking forward to that future synchronicity.